By Delasi Sanenu
Almost every time when I’m asked my pronouns, my answer is “refer to me as you perceive me”. I have friends who think I’m a trans man and refer to me as he/him. Others refer to me as she/her because they have a notion that breasts equal femininity. Many others still have trouble referring to me because they still can’t fathom what they’re perceiving. In a few instances, I’ve had a few a-holes refer to me as it just to trigger me.
People are always going to perceive the same thing in different ways. Put out anything and three different people would see three different things. That’s because people respond to stimuli based on their own traumas, ideologies and personal beliefs. For example, my partner comes to spend a few weeks with me sometimes. We don’t resemble each other in any way. However, my landlady thinks we’re siblings because it doesn’t occur to her to think otherwise. Straightness is what she knows and expects, and so why would she think two women living together could be involved romantically. On the other hand, someone else in my neighbourhood looked at me once and knew I was gay and thus knows that the woman I’m usually with is my girlfriend. These are two people seeing the same thing and responding in different ways.
It’s a similar idea I explored in this article. Perceptions of queerness in Ghana are complex and vary widely across different societal groups, usually based on their own traumas, rules and ideologies. On one hand, there is a strong tradition of acceptance and even celebration of non-heteronormative individuals within some indigenous cultures in Ghana.
For example, the Ewe people of southeastern Ghana have a tradition of gendered transvestism, in which certain males are considered to have a female spirit and are allowed to participate in traditionally feminine roles and activities. Similarly, the Akan people of southern Ghana have a tradition of “female husbands,” in which a woman who identifies as male may take on a wife and live as a man within the community. The Nzema had a similar culture, where two men who had a mutual attraction to each other could get married and live together without any fear of repercussions.
Conversely, the dominant Western-influenced culture in Ghana views homosexuality as a moral issue. Being queer is often associated with immorality and depravity. This view is largely informed by the influence of conservative Christian and Islamic religious teachings, which denounce same-sex relationships as sinful. There’s also the fact that media personalities peddle ridiculous nonsense on their various channels of transmission.
When I was in uni, sometimes just for kicks I would ask random classmates what they thought of queerness and know they would react if they found out I was queer. One person said she would get it because women are more caring than men and so why wouldn’t I want to be with a woman. Another asked me quite vehemently why I would be gay when handsome men abound in these streets.
Some weren’t okay with queerness but weren’t sure why. The ideas they had of homosexuality were erroneous notions they’d picked up from hearsay. They thought gay men did it for money. Talking to me made them realise that they weren’t truly homophobic but were being so because they’d been “taught” to be. A greater majority believed it to be sinful because of their religious beliefs. In an interesting twist, one of them confessed an attraction to me that confused her. She nearly stopped being friends with me because she’s Christian and had tried a few times to tell me how being queer meant I would burn in hell.
The most recurring theme though was that people would generally be okay with a woman being queer but be repulsed by a gay man. Perceptions, perceptions and their consequences.
The ways in which people perceive queer people are affected by their prejudices, traumas and politics. That’s valid. The problem starts when these perceptions translate into harmful actions and behaviours, whether they are harmful to themselves or to others. Self-harm as a result of negative perceptions particularly bothers me because some queer people growing up in deeply homophobic homes do things to themselves. I slept with a lot of men because I thought perhaps it would cure me of my desire for women. Here we are many years later and I have a girlfriend. What did that period of random sex with men do for me? Nothing. It did nothing but introduce new traumas into my life.
In recent years, there has been a growing movement in Ghana for LGBTQ+ rights and acceptance. Activists and allies have been working to raise awareness of the discrimination and violence faced by queer individuals in Ghana, and to push for legal and societal change. However, the movement is still in its early stages, and many challenges remain. Making our work easier starts with questioning your own perceptions and beliefs. Why do I believe this? What led me to this belief? Is it a healthy stance to take, and how does it affect not only me but those around me?